


She Looks So Perfect

by SailorLestrade



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Body Image, Eating Disorders, F/M, Tom is so supportive, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2664215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorLestrade/pseuds/SailorLestrade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom thinks you're perfect. Too bad you don't think so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Looks So Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read if eating disorders are triggering. I've been there before and I understand how it can be.

You stared at the mirror in disgust. You hated the way you looked. All those women that Tom worked with were so skinny with perky breasts and firm legs. You wanted to be like them. You wanted to be perfect.

For him.

“Honey, I’m home!” Your darling boyfriend called. You two had just recently moved in together, so you were still in the this is new phase. You quickly fixed your shirt and came out of the bedroom, smiling at him. “There you are!”

“Hey!” You said, smiling at him. “How was the interview?”

“It was pretty fun.” He laughed. You watched him as he went to the kitchen to make himself so tea. Perfect, firm body. Muscles. No extra fat anywhere. You sighed. It would only be a matter of time before he figured out you weren’t good enough and went on to someone with Scarlett Johansson’s body. “They asked if Loki was to have a costume change, which famous costume I would want. I totally said I’d take Ben’s Sherlock coat and scarf.” He laughed. You smiled at him.

“I think Loki could pull it off.” You said. “If it was in green.” He came out of the kitchen then and kissed your forehead.

“I have to leave again about five to do a press conference thing. It’ll be a couple hours and then we can go get something to eat afterwards.” Your smile faltered a bit, but you didn’t let it show.

“Uh, I had a big lunch today.” You said. “So I’m not sure if I’ll really want to eat for the rest of the day.”

“You haven’t been eating a lot.” Tom said, looking worried. He set his cup down then pulled you over and put his hand on your forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine honey.” You said, smiling at him. He was still frowning but didn’t push it. The truth was, you had barely eaten anything for the past few days, trying to lose weight faster. Today, you hadn’t eaten anything at all. You were praying that your stomach stayed quiet and didn’t tell Tom you were lying.

“Well, we still have a couple hours.” He said. “Maybe you’ll be hungry by then.” He stood up and finished his tea. “I need to grab a shower then head over to run through some of the script before the press conference.”

“Okay Tom.” You said, smiling and kissing his cheek. He smiled at you then went back to the bathroom to shower. You went to the bedroom and changed into your workout gear. You had already been out for one run today. Two runs in one day shouldn’t be too bad.

You left before Tom was done in the shower. You left him a note, saying you had some things you needed to do today and you would be home by the time he got home. You signed it XOXO, then you left.

****

You were exhausted halfway through your run. Every time you passed a restaurant or café, your body kept trying to push you through the doors, but you couldn’t. You wouldn’t let yourself undo all the work you had just done.

“I think I did good for the day.” You said, pausing for a second. You take your phone out of the band on your arm and looked at the time. About an hour until Tom gets home. You didn’t even realize you had been out that long. You turn on another upbeat song, one that your little sister has been posting the lyrics to all over Facebook. Some Aussie band that she’s in love with.

You get home and smile happily. Even though you feel downright weak, you know that you look good and have the figure of those other girls have. You felt like you were floating as you walked through your home towards the bedroom and connected bathroom. But then you felt heavy, like your bones were made of lead. You crashed to the floor, your phone and ear buds sliding away from you. You laid there as darkness overtook you. You just wanted to sleep.

****

“I’m home!” Tom called as he walked into the dark house. He could hear music playing back in the bedroom. He smiled, thinking that you were just relaxing, waiting for him to come back. Probably in the bathtub. “Hey honey I…” He froze in the doorway.

There you were, passed out on the floor in your running gear, your phone discarded in front of you. Your eyes were closed. He quickly ran to you, gently shaking you.

“(Y/n)!” He said, extremely worried. “Baby please!” He cradled you in his arms and grabbed your phone, calling for a medic. “Please don’t leave me.” He begged you, holding onto you until the ambulance came.

****

“Mr. Hiddleston?” An older woman said, getting his attention. He had been sitting in the waiting room, head in hands, while he waited for some news about you. He looked up and saw the doctor looking at him. He was quickly on his feet.

“How is she?” He asked. The doctor sighed.

“I’m afraid to say that she passed out from malnutrition.” She said. Tom’s face paled.

“W-what?” He asked. She sighed.

“She woke up briefly while we were doing blood tests. I guess she hasn’t eaten in almost three days.” The doctor explained. “She was crying and said that she just wanted to be perfect.”

“Oh god.” Tom said. “I didn’t know. I should’ve though. She hadn’t been eating a lot and I…I just should’ve known.” He wiped a hand across his eyes. “Can I see her?” The doctor nodded and led him to your room. You were lying in bed. Your eyes met with his, even though you could barely stay awake.

“Tom…” You said weakly. He quickly was at your side and holding the hand that didn’t have an IV attached to it.

“Honey, why did you do this to yourself?” Tom asked, brushing your hair back. You felt tears welling in your eyes.

“I wanted to be as pretty as those girls you act with…” Tom had tears in his eyes then.

“You’ll never be on the same level as them. Because you’re perfect and they’re not. I love you the way you are.” He kissed your hand. “And I wouldn’t have you any other way.” You smiled weakly at him. “And once we get you back to the weight you should be at, if you want me to, I will help you with exercising to stay at it. I know that you can’t do a lot because it gets hard to breathe, but we’ll find something simple that we can both enjoy. Okay?” You smiled and nodded. He kissed your forehead. “Get some rest baby. And never forget I love you.”

You drifted off to sleep, listening to Tom sing the song you had just been listening to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this didn't upset anybody.


End file.
